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Hopes and Dreams
Easter, 2007
Bethanne Jacobson
Hopes and Dreams…..I’m fortunate;
I’ve gotten to live many of mine. That’s not to say it was easy, or it
was done in the order, or the time period that I expected. So many people
(including myself) do what they think they’re supposed to do, what
someone else told them they should do, what they think will make their
parents happy, what they fell into, or what was easy. With an investment
of time, relative success, and the acquisition of personal and financial
obligations, the die is cast and too many people are trapped in a lifetime
of unhappiness. They are the right people in the wrong place.
I’d like you to ask yourself a few
questions. What did you want to be when you were young and used to dream?
What are your special talents? Do you use them? What could you be doing
today to celebrate your uniqueness? What would be fun to do? What benefit
would that work bring to you and others? These questions are central in
determining your level of happiness.
Just last evening I received a
telephone call from my youngest son, Ben. He has achieved what he once
believed he wanted to do. He’s overcome many obstacles obtaining his
degree in accounting and becoming a CPA. Unfortunately, as he struggled to
find his direction in life he chose a course that he felt would make his
father happy. Despite attempts to persuade him to follow his heart in
choosing a profession, he chose the safe, legitimate way. He was a young
man full of talent and creativity, with a very outgoing personality. He
ignored all the career surveys that reflected this and did what he thought
his father would want him to do. So his hopes and dreams were put on hold
and he is now unhappy with his job, bored, and unmotivated. If only he had
followed his dreams.
When I start working with new people,
I always ask them what they want out of life, what gives their life
meaning. How will they know when they achieve this? When they are unable
to answer these questions I often ask them to write a letter themselves,
their inner child, or someone they trust unconditionally. Writing
clarifies thought, you have to select words and it requires a different
level of specificity. Most people don’t achieve their dreams or goals
because they never put any specificity to it. Although this sounds simple
the rewards can be amazing. It’s forces you to come face to face with
what you really want. It’s not about wanting to be rich, thin, or
happy….because we all want that. What you write gives you a launching
pad. What you write can give you direction in terms of how to take the
first step.
As I went through my doctoral program
I participated in many activities that encouraged me to look at my hopes
and dreams. The internship application process forces you to do this
through essay writing and difficult interviews. But with lots of soul
searching, writing, and rewriting I found that what I thought you wanted
wasn’t really what I wanted after all. I always thought I wanted to
teach, mentor students, and publish. Throughout the interview process it
became clear that that wasn’t what I wanted after all. The university
faculty I interviewed with knew it and they could tell by how I answered
the questions, and by what I had written in my essays. Finally, after my
third interview for a position at the
University
of
South Carolina
, one very kind faculty member said it out loud… “You really sound
like you would be most happy doing therapy in your own practice rather
than what this position offers”. I was shocked, and then devastated.
Jake and I had worked with a realtor, picked out a house, and were ready
to make the move. All of my dreams came tumbling down. But, thank goodness
the words had been said and I was at last forced to listen to my heart and
follow my dreams. I found the importance of knowing myself and was
ultimately thankful to that professor who forced me to get a handle on who
I was as I contemplated making this very important change in my life.
I’m going to ask you to do the same as you contemplate your hopes and
dreams. If there is incongruency between your internal dreams and the
external you, you’re going to find yourself wanting to make a change,
another change, and another change, and another change.
You get to know yourself by being
with yourself. Unfortunately, most of us do whatever we can, not to be
with ourselves. If you can’t be with yourself you need to practice. My
hope and dream for you is that you find what it is that will make you
happy and go for it. So….go home…..be by yourself…..make
lists…..write letters……and take a personal inventory. Dreams
are made real one step at a time, over the proverbial long haul. So, stop
dreaming and take the plunge.
I’d like to close my part of the
program on resurrecting hopes and dreams with a brief Easter meditation by
Kathleen Rolenz which reflects what I am sure is the hope of all of us
here today.
Easter Is Breaking
Somewhere across the world,
Easter is breaking
not the Easter we may think of,
with arms upraised and "he is risen" echoing from canyons,
but a much quieter, less dramatic Easter.
Somewhere in the world -perhaps not this day, but some day soon,
a woman and a man rise from their beds,
shaking the sleep from their eyes,
and find their children already awake and
preparing for their morning prayers
There has been no gunfire, no drug wars, no yelling or shouting or
screaming,
only the quiet of the night and the peace of silence around them.
And somewhere in the world, perhaps not this morning, but soon, very soon
A soldier is packing his duffle bag,
has emptied out all his bullets,
is changing into civilian clothes,
and is coming home, for peace has long been established,
and there is no need for his presence.
And somewhere in the world, Easter dawn breaks over the earth,
not only on this day, but every day,
and the familiar pulse in our veins throbs of "peace, peace,
peace."
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